The Royal Marines are one of the most fearsome military forces in the world. Troops are so highly trained that they can survive anywhere, be it on top of a mountain or in the middle of the desert.
As such, us Cakers were a bit daunted at the prospect of spending a day at their training camp in Devon. After all, your average Marine spends his days doing 30 mile runs, learning extreme survival skills and completing gruelling assault courses, while your average Cake employee spends his/her days eating biscuits, chatting with people and only going outside if there really is no other choice.
When the bus pulled in at the Commando Training Centre we were expecting to be met by a platoon of shouty, sadistic drill sergeants wielding pointy sticks that they would use to prod us in our love handles if we ran too slow. What we were actually met by was a down to earth bunch of lads from all over the country, undergoing an instructor-training programme that would equip them with the skills to take new recruits through the 32-week basic training course all Marines must undergo.
The morning session took place on the endurance course located on the picturesque Woodbury Common. Enjoyment of the beautiful views and local wildlife was hampered by the fact that none of us could see a thing through the mud and tears as we struggled to propel our flabby bodies over hills, around bushes and through pitch-black tunnels, one of which, the infamous ‘sheep dip’ was completely underwater and smelled of poo.
Sheer willpower and encouraging words (not to mention the odd piggy back) from our super-human instructors, got the entire team through the ordeal and back to the barracks for a hearty lunch and a warm feeling of achievement.
Hilarity is not a word normally associated with the Royal Marines but it is the only word that can be used to describe the ‘Hollywood heroes’ themed afternoon session. The sight of an eight foot killing machine dressed as Lara Croft having a chat with a suspiciously masculine looking Supergirl is one that will be etched in our memories forever.
A massive effort had been put into turning the gym into six movie sets from various action films including Tomb Raider, Terminator and Die Hard. The themes were a great way to add an element of fun to what was actually a very intensive circuit training session. It was like It’s a Knockout for tough bastards. The session ended in a Wacky Races style run (complete with cardboard race cars) around the camp, that drove our already exhausted and agonised bodies to the limit.
What a great day! None of us really had the energy to hit the town in the evening, but the Marines weren’t taking no for an answer and took us out to sample the delights of Exeter’s nightlife. After plenty of shots we were fit enough, or numb enough, for some rather energetic dancing – a form of exercise Cake is much more familiar with.
Battered, bruised, aching and more than a little hung over, we have now made it safely back to London where a new challenge faces us – how do you get the stench of ‘sheep dip’ out of your trainers?!
